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Tuesday, February 28, 2006
-Tuesday, February 28, 2006
here comes the
real entry of today
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I feel the pain seep in
with every step i take
The hated world,
and the unpredicted fate
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-Tuesday, February 28, 2006
This was meant to be posted on 2702`06 but I don`t know for whatever shit reason or motive my extra father had, he intentionally went to switch off the internet cable while I was typing this. So I had to save it somewhere while the internet gets back today. Fucked-face. He only knows how to irritate people. Wait til he`s rebelled against then he`ll know ! once i start, i`m sure he`d have a hell of a time getting me back in hand again. HA. Such a scumbag, a twit, a whore.
Lets forget about him for now. Not worth typing so much cause he won`t even know what I feel about him and I bet he never will. Faggot.
sometimes i wonder, if those whom i think are closest to me, are really my best friends. and vice-versa, those of whom i used to have kept a clear distance from ( not on purpose but due to first instincts though ) , seem to be the closer people to me now : its kinda contradicting and definately, weird. i never expect people like varun and salva and me of whom i feel i`m worlds apart from, to be firm friends. i think its because of varun`s open mind and me and salva being in the same family plot that pulls us together somehow like a magnet. even going home, most days ARE with them.
i often yearned for a day when everyone could be as nice. and that jealousy doesn`t exist in this unkind world at all. oh yes, how can i be so guillable ? the world is never a perfection. it is simply a place where people are borned in and leave via the natural or unnatural way. What`s more, this narrow mindset and perception i portray of life has been like this ever since i began to see the imperfection and biasness of it. sometimes, when i take a look at other people`s families, i often wonder why are these kids so fortunate ? i was once like this, probably two times better due to the fact that i`ve enjoyed good food and living conditions. but will these children`s life remain like the way it already is forever too ? , or be smashed like mine ?
yes, you may like to tell me, this isn`t at all the end of the world. even if family isn`t the people whom you turn to and hang out with 24-7, but there`s still youre friends. people like elmo, i`ve grown a better liking towards him than in the past. i`ve probably seen him cry( well, heard would be more appropriate here ), seen him laugh like this totally insane wit, seen him helped me with my work like ss, afraid and even care for me when i was sick. even if it was a mere cough, it still bothered to him as a good friend to ask like 9 times in a day if im okay and better. all these little things people do of which it probably seem so natural and they are likely not to realise, in fact mean alot to me.
noelle and felicia`s other nice people. having known noelle for those years were fun and we knew many people together too. people like hanrong and all. it gave us life and given, her crazy and daring character to cheer the moods of people up, it really did lighten up my days into livier ones ! thanks for those times man. they were fantastic ! as for fel, although i hadn`t known her for long, its only passed the once-year friendship mark, but its been going quite smooth most times. she, is yet another crazy girl who can talk alot and seriously ALOT of nonsense when she wants to. just like me. we`re so similar as to that aspect in character. although i now find it difficult to get her to believe me with things i say which i honestly mean it. because she, sy and varun often say ' i look so serious when i talk, but whatever comes out, is total nonsense ! ' yes, so true, its been my new-found hobby for some time now. take for example, elmo`s case. the day before, he asked me to send him a good-night msg so that he can forward it to her, but when i asked her about it, she doesn`t believe me for nuts but claims that it was me who asked him to do it. but really ! i didn`t. he actually did it on his own accord. so much for that statement of ' i look so serious when i talk, but whatever comes out, is total nonsense ! ' the best way to describe this act would be ' the boy who cried wolf ' . i mean the theory behind it, not the sex.
only thing is that felicia, you`re too serious already larh. elmo`s just joking, not trying to irritate you. i bet he does that to not only you but to myself too. you can always play back with him and wack him back with twice that he`s given you ((: ( elmo, dont read that part ! ) even teresa says that she herself enjoys putting that emoticon to her friends too ! dont see what wrong with it and look at the positive side of things and take the jokes lightly man !
all these people, from different walks of my life are really those i`d really treasure with utmost love. they, for now ( and i hope forever ) , mean the world to me. thank you for being the best people in my life yet. <3
end.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
-Sunday, February 26, 2006
yesterday :
the busy day. it began off when i decided to meet up with elmo after a long labourous day at school which ended at 1.45, for a movie at tmall. headed home, and we met up at 8.20 at tmall`s GV for a 9.25 show. its Final Destination III btw. great show, great graphics but many gross scenes which really scared the freaking hell out of me. missed a couple of scenes because of that. anyway, it was such a nice show that i felt i had to watch it again but i doubt so. before the movie progressed, just as it was still the advert part, the girl from classic pool msged me asking why i never go down today. then i asked elmo if he wanted to go down after the show. he agreed saying he could drive down and ask a couple of friends along. there were six for us in all as we headed for classic at pp later on.
reached classic at 11.28 pm, left at 2.01 am. i remembered it clearly. HA. after which, elmo drove us all to dhoby gaut meet gundam for supper. wth ! i thought it sounded crazy cause as planned, they wanted to go jalan kayu which is at hougang ? , to eat prata. but to elmo and rest, it was pretty normal for them i guess. but eating prata at 3+ in the morning sounded quite insane to me.
i was soooo tired by then. having been awake for 23 hours or so, i couldnt take it anymore. sleep most of the journey as they fetched me home x: im so sorry but thanks for the time and ride ya. guess they headed for kallang for mahjong games at a friend`s place after that. all the nocturnals ! !
today :
and as you people can guess. life`s a repetition for me. went classic once again. however, this time with fel, noey, rendy and fenghua. had tuition earlier with rendy at eunos. we had planned to meet at two the day before. but unfortunately, i was so tired and stuck to the bed that i couldnt move myself away from it. i seriously couldn`t get up. my phone rang at 1.58 pm. rendy`s name was blinking expectedly on the screen. i took a quick glance at the time and the first word that came into my mind was 'shit !' im so late ! what should i tell him alr. what to say ? i picked it up anyhow. .
rendy : eh. . rachel, where are you ?
me : oh shit ! sorry sorry, i just woke up !
unexpectedly,
rendy : orh. . aiyah. nevermind. you hurry up go down to eunos mrt, i meet you there. i now at changi airport
me : huh ! but not enough time leh. . i`ll be super late leh. or can i not go today ? :
i was on the verge of not going then.
rendy : nevermind larh. just go lor. anyway, i going to eat lunch first ma
and somehow i agreed and tried my best to hurry. during tuition, we did all sorts of childish stuffs. or rather, rendy did. i have mentos lime sweets which he used to play with by pretending the sweet ( its round ) to be a cue ball and began playing ' pool ' on the table with his pen and MY sweet. how funny ! i couldnt stop laughing seeing him this kind of guy doing such things. there were many others by the way.
headed to pp. at which we met the rest at the bus stop and rendy came up with this crazy idea of tricking fenghua that there`s an mrt station called marine parade mrt station. sounds dumb though. but fenghua was half-hearted and careful not to believe him. i felt like i havent talked to noelle for ages man ! and she`s so funny to go and play with lucy ( rendy`s rabbit zinc bag ). she attempted to smooch her, hug her, and do sick stuffs, or even to hold her hand and ask for marraige ! its a bag my dear ! we all couldnt stop laughing. even pool games were humorous !. rendy has this pink geomatrical set in his bag of which he claims was stolen from first toapayoh secondary school. ha ha. he took the protractor to the pool table and started measuring its angles so that he can aim better. i thought it looked pretty strange. he and fengie even managed to come up with irrelavent statements such as ' angle of incident = angle of reflection ' we nearly fainted laughing !
and throughout the entire day, lucy the bag was wearing my adidas watch. until rendy left us after dinner like an hour later, then i realised that my watch wasn`t with me ! and lucy was still wearing it ! best part - rendy didnt even realised he`s brought my watch home. i need it so badly for my tests next week. there`re a whole of them man. like a whole chunk coming at me all at once and i got no watch to gauge the time during the papers ): sad yet partially worried. RENDY larh !
next time, must rememebr get my watch back. .
had great fun anyway !
rendy, you may use the watch for school for the week, for now. HA HA.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
-Wednesday, February 22, 2006
to begin with, ELMO. youre name is right smack here. DO YOU SEE IT ? ?
tsk. pure nonsense larh you.
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horrifying moments of facing that old faggot fong. my miserable chinese days in sec1 were all caused by the very first impression i had of him. he just cant seem to connect himself to the students in the school ( except for the 4r4-ers whom i think are utterly blind to the max ; no offense ). i feel that it is pretty disappointing to know that he doesnt attempt to change his attitude towards students and his self-centred and im-the-biggest-in-the-school character. yes, you may think that im whiny and youre right. im that sort of girl who doesnt like to be pushed over so easily. so i started to try and be smart and stand out from the other mice. ' once bitten, twice shy '. thats what describes them best.
jesus ! that one of a life-time rare moron deserves the most tragic death ever alr ! seriously, how can anyone stand him ? HOW CAN THEY ? its such a pity that no one is telling him the true facts of life. of the difference in the generation now and then. so what if he`s from the older generation ? to me, its called GENERATION GAP. and thats it. cant he just upgrade and change his silly ways for the better and teach more than lecture and punish the innocent ? cant he feel that students are doing their best to avoid him along corridors and not daring to leave toilets until he`s gone ? he is a HUMAN, not a THING. unless he self-proclaims to be one. so obviously he should be able to understand the whole issue wholeheartedly and be able to feel the tense and shivers the majority population of students in the school get that he radiates effortlessly on them. he`s really the pure cause as to why students dislike chinese so much. or rather, in particular, me.
the utmost fear students receive are uncountable are obviously undetected by the emotionless him. even so, he seriously should change himself and teaching methods to suit the current generation of people. he basically concentrates far FAR too much on scolding students even for the slightest wrong thing they do. or worse, scold them for things which he thinks are wrong when students cant even see the damn problem at all. which is an UTTER WASTE OF TIME, i feel. the whole thing about the ' im doing this for youre own good ' is some lame shits that he enjoys using to shield himself and use it as a false excuse to scold people. its probably his hobby alr. seeing their fearful expressions that they plant on their faces. lessons by him are more of the chinese version of CME. which is very patethic. yes, PATETHIC is the word that i wanna emphasize on. 'jokes' by him are so cold which sends me a strong message that he enjoys getting the attention although i think is quite unsuccessful. THEY WERENT AT ALL FUNNY. didnt anyone voice out what they felt towards him ?
told sy, the bubbly cheerful girl sitting beside me in class, its either EVERYONE IS BLIND or NO ONE IS DARING ENOUGH for fear that he`ll scold him or her full strength or probably get detained after school when everyone else is happily skipping out of school and invading shopping centres immensely. but wouldnt it be better if he`d know where he`s gone wrong and wouldnt everyone enjoy his lessons more then when he`s changed ? ( if he ever does, given his typical stubborn-old-man`s attitude ) sheesh ! oh yes, did i mention that he has this vicious look yet depraved smile. oh man !
dont even know why im wasting my precious time writing about him and venting anger on this lifeless piece of blog when all it can do is to give me infinite space to type all these woes in, when i could be meaningfully spending my time doing my dnt which i feel is so behind time.
shall end this here. but people, if youre reading this, do remember : its not that i dont spare i thought for him or that you may thing that im throwing away time by doing this. but i really just want to let those reading this to know what kind of a teacher he really behaves and portrays himself to be. it may seem dumb, but unfortunately, this is not all. you just havent seen how he`s made people go to the bookshop to buy five green pens should they not have one for his lesson. or make students like me to go all the way to queensway ( which obviously im going to rebel totally against ) just to get a skirt of length right up to my calfs when my skirt is just at an acceptable length of two fingers above the knee. thus, i can leave you to imagine the rest yourself if you hadnt known him yourself.
Monday, February 20, 2006
-Monday, February 20, 2006
. . a totally great loss. as grieveness overtook
me and sorrows were caused. was unable to overcome the various and continual tragic. an utter disappointment it was, yet it seemed unexpected; unbelievable.
my utmost regards, with love.
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lonely nights, treasured moments
Sunday, February 19, 2006
-Sunday, February 19, 2006
when two ends of the rainbow meet . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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two different people. . two different worlds,
Saturday, February 18, 2006
-Saturday, February 18, 2006
was it the sheer truth ? . . .
or was it simply a blatant lie ?
Monday, February 13, 2006
-Monday, February 13, 2006
after what seemed like 5769270628 years,
felicia can tell that im happy. ha ha.
btw. this IS a seperate event altogether.
