My Precision Reignites
L i t e r a c y
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there isn`t anymore pain,
life`s now like sunshine and no rain
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just like a fairytale,
my dream came true
it became real
since i found you
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in pure anxiety i wait
of whats the next take,
i hope it isnt a break
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all i need is a miracle,
perhaps this is just any obstacle
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staring into the night
all alone but thats alright,
it`s the feeling deep inside that i dont like
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when will i ever see the light,
or that happy face so bright ?
if only my fairytale could turn to reality,
then there won`t be anymore agony
Read Here
Saturday, January 21, 2006
-Saturday, January 21, 2006
the issue of my parents has been getting out of hand and dragging me down a whole lot more. plus, what i heard from two other girls, i think its been such a chore and a nuisance. i feel like everythings been turned against my entire life and its going to stay like this forever. thus, creating vexation.
for my parents` case, even if my dad turns back and changes his mind about the whole thing - cut of whatever ties with the woman and come back to us, its already TOO LATE. he can never turn back the time as whats done has already been done and he can never turn back. the family will never be the same again.
now, hearing from my mum and grandma, when i was only two or three, he gave my mum an air ticket to go to japan. and even encouraged her continuously to go there with a couple of friends. however, during that period of time, he actually brought two thai women home. as assumed, one was his gf/wife. the other, her best friend. from the maid, she said that i even played with them ! OMFG ! how terrible is that ? !
what he`s done to my mum :
1. cancelled all her cards
2. my mum`s been working like a dog for him the past twenty over years and yet he doesnt pay her or give her any cpf. so her cpf is like zero ?
3. and so, its only right that he pay her a reasonable maintanence fee for us, her three children, of 50 000 dollars. not inclusive of my mum nor the past. he doesnt agree to that amount but only to 25 000 dollars which obviously isnt enough. after that, he changed his mind about it, sending my mum an email agreeing to that sum of 50 000 dollars. HOWEVER, despite that black and white evidence, he still turned around and going back to paying her that pathetic sum of 25 000 dollars. HOW IDIOTIC IS THAT ?
4. 50 000 isnt alot of money for heaven`s sake. its not even half of what he has. he`s selling the house at 1.15 M okay ? and my mum`s the co-owner of the house too. shouldnt the money be split up evenly ? bloody selfish man, he is.
5. he comes threatening every now and then to my mum about the things that are happening and their consequences. stressing her out. he says ' dont think i dont know okay. you have some american bf outside ' and things like that. obviously indirectly hinting her that because of this, he`s not gonna pay her the 50 000 dollars. like for fuck`s sake, the money he`s supposed to give her is for the household expenses, the children (us) expenses as well as for buying a new house ! excuse me, even hdbs cost tens of thousand dollars okay ? if you`re going to give the the 25 000 dollars, do you think its enough for all that ? ! whatsmore, 50 000 is barely sufficient ! ! anyway, as he claims for the fact that he`s found out that my mum has a bf and keeps it a secret, ( actually only from him. everyone else knows. even a friend of mine has seen him before ) so he can help pay for the children too. HEY. WE ARE YOURE CHILDREN, NOT MUMMY BF`S. DO YOU EXPECT SOMEONE TO PAY THE LIFE EXPENSES OF SOME OTHER PEOPLE`S CHILDREN TOO ? yes, he will pay for mummy`s but not for us too. i mean, even if he does, its bonus for us. BUT DONT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY TO PAY FOR US FOR THE FACT THAT WE ARE YOURE KIDS AND YOU ARE OUR FATHER ?
6. sold her mers away, buying her some cheapo ugly car instead. which my mum didnt want to accept though ( not of its moronic look but cause her lawyer says she has no right to accpet it just yet ) its been registered on early january. but til now, the car`s still sitting in the garage of the shop. not collected. as a result, my mum`s been travelling and degraded herself from travelling on a luxurious mers to the sbs and trains.
7. this morning, 9am plus. he threatened my mum to sign up for the agreement of the car under her name. in other words, the money borrowed from the bank will be under my mum`s name. but hey ! my mum isnt the one paying but my dad. shouldnt it be my dad the one who signs it instead ? although he says that he will pay my mum 500 - 600 dollars a month for the car. but if he can change his mind ( even though he typed out in email in black and white ) about the 50 000 dollars thing, how can my mum just trust him so easily with words from his mouth ? what if suddenly he doesnt pay my mum, my mum will be the person the bank will go after for money. and she doesnt have the money GOD DAMMIT !
8. he used to heck care about me. however it was only eleven when he called me. obviously wanting me to go home. however, i was in the cinema, so i didnt pick up his calls. wanted to send him a text, explaining to him that. but he keeps calling which disallows me to do so. i was irritated and switched of the whole damn phone. when i switched it on again after the movie, i saw a text msg from my bro saying ' daddy ask you to come home now '. wow. why cant he msg me himself ? why must ask leon ? STUPID. such a moron. being nice, i msged him back saying ' sorry was in the movie '
he replied : what time coming home
me : now
him : good better come home now okay
WOW. thats like so amazing larh. since when did he ever care about me going home ? SINCE WHEN ? tell me. and let me remind you, it was only 11 sharp when he called me. when i told my mum about it just now, even she said, 'since when is he this over-concering father that he is now.' he called me both on thursday and friday night asking me where am i okay. she added on that she thinks that he`s doing this cause his lawyer probably told him to do so. like as in, you better play the part of a good father before youre children turn their backs on you at court too ' oh yes ! , did i mention that we`re going to court over the money issue ? how stupid is that ? going to court to settle a case between youre family ? not as in relative-family thing but within a father-mother-children family.
9. he often claims that he has no money at all. but what have we heard ? he last december gave the woman 2000dollars, depositing it to her UOB bank account. he give my mum a hundred or two already complaining full strength. we know cause, he asked my maid to deposit it for him and it was that woman`s name that he wrote on the cheque. however, recently, no more cheques were asked by him for my maid to deposit to the woman account. probably cause he got smart and its likely that he personally went to the bank to deposit it himself. and he claims that he has no money ? i dont believe so. me and my mum thinks that he has some other bank account somewhere, not wanting us to know about the big money he has. hearing from my mum, she says that this woman even owns two companies. must be some rich slut. and she`s also in singapore now ! like wth !
'my mum`s recently been under a lot of stress and is suffering from anxiety' , the doctor claims when she went to see him today. she`s been weak and is partially ill now. i feel sorry for her so much.
this morning when he threatened my poor mum again, my grandma couldnt take it anymore and scolded him to the maximum and to the extent of fierceness and anger and tone that i`ve never heard before in my life. i know she was damn mad at him too for bullying her daughter. my dad, in return let out a string of angry words too and hit her back. my grandma, argues back full strength and i could hear all these even as i was sound asleep and woke up hearing the fearful yet horrifying screams and yellings. it was damn bad and i heard my father`s heck-care as always voice changed into the anger that i`ve never in my life heard too. its like a child screaming but in a man`s voice. its damn scary, i swear. i really, honestly, swear.
who was the one who caused all this miserble and sadness within our family ? my dad.
who was the one who found some other woman first ? my dad.
who was the one who keeps making the issue worse by threats ? my dad.
who is the one who keeps everything a secret by all the pretence and lies for years ? my dad.
my dad. my dad. my dad. my dad. urgh !
